Skills with People

People are primarily interested in themselves, not you! The other person is ten thousand times more interested in himself than he is with you.

HOW TO SKILLFULLY TALK TO PEOPLE
When you are talking to people, pick out the most interesting subject in the world to them to talk about: THEMSELVES!

Take these four words out of your vocabulary: “I, me, my, mine.”

Substitute for those four words, one word, and the most powerful word spoken by the human tongue: “YOU.”


HOW TO SKILLFULLY MAKE PEOPLE FEEL IMPORTANT
To be skillful in human relations, be sure to make other people feel Important. Remember that they more important you make people feel, the more they will respond to you.
-Listen to them. Compliment them.
-Use their names as often as possible.
-Pause before you answer them. This give them the impression you have thought over what they said and that it was worthy of thinking over.
-Acknowledge people who are waiting to see you.
-Pay attention to everybody in a group.
-Build a bridge with those you are not familiar with.
-Create win/win situations.

HOW TO SKILLFULLY AGREE WITH PEOPLE
As long as you live, never forget that any fool can disagree with people and that it takes a wise person, a shrewd person, a big person to agree – particularly when the other person is wrong.
-Learn to be agreeable, to agree with people. Get yourself into a frame of mind, and attitude of being agreeable. Be a naturally agreeable person.
-Tell people when you agree with them. Nod your head “yes,” and look at them when you do it. Say, “You are right.”
-Do not tell people when you disagree with them unless it is absolutely necessary.
-Admit when you are wrong.
-Refrain from arguing. The poorest technique known in human relations is arguing. Even if you are right, don’t argue. Remember, it takes two to argue.
-Handle fights properly. The best technique to handle them is to refuse to fight with them.
-If a person disagrees with you or a policy/procedure, get them to articulate their thoughts and feelings in writing and tell them that you will forward that to the right person. Let them know you are trying to help them. This will get the person to transfer their anger from you to focus on their writing.

HOW TO SKILLFULLY LISTEN TO PEOPLE
A good listener always ends up far ahead of a good talker in the affections of people. This is because a good listener always allows people to hear their favorite speakers, themselves.
-Look at the person who is talking.
-Lean toward the speaker and listen intently.
-Ask questions.
-Stick to the speaker’s subject and don’t interrupt.
-Use the speaker’s word: “you” and “your.”

HAPPINESS FORMULA
Get into the daily habit of saying one kind thing to at least three different people. Then see how you feel for having done so. This is a happiness formula for YOU. When you see the happiness, gratitude, and pleasure you bring others by doing this YOU will feel good. There is more joy in giving that receiving. Try it.

HOW TO SKILLFULLY MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION
To a great extent we control others’ opinions of us. We start off as strangers to everyone and their opinion of us is largely determined by the way we conduct ourselves. Knowing this, it behooves all of us to conduct ourselves in such a manner that the effect on other people will be good.
Put value on yourself. Be proud of yourself (but not conceited), of who you are, of what you do, of where you work. Don’t apologize for your situation in life or for yourself. You are what you are; so handle yourself with pride and respect.

From the Book: SKILL WITH PEOPLE. – by: Les Giblin